Confessions of a Postie

The walk I've been on involves driving a van to the start of the round (only the first few days I wasn't allowed to drive, so had to push a naff little trolley around. Fortunately I have now done my "changeover" (driving test - don't ask why it's called that - I don't have a clue!)), dropping mail off at a couple of places on the way. I park up, grab my first bag of mail, and deliver it in a circular route, returning to the van. I drive a little way, delivering to some remote houses and farms en route, then park again and deliver my next bag, and so on.

Before I joined the post office, I had visions of skipping around in the sunshine, listening to the tweeting of the birds and sniffing at the sweet smell of the flowers - and as my walk is in a semi-rural area, I have to say it's been just like that! Well, except for the skipping - the bags are a bit heavy to skip around with . . . although I have been known to run at times when I'm particularly behind schedule, sad bunny! I've only been rained on once, and that was showers rather than a downpour, and was actually quite refreshing.

So far we are liking:

• large, long, loose letterboxes, than you can push mail through easily;
• open plan gardens that you can walk across;
• houses with numbers clearly visible from the road;
• houses without gates, or at least with easy latches rather than time-consuming bolts;
• neighbourly little gates between houses, to save you walking all the way down one drive and back up the next. I've started to think of these as "the postman's friends";
• best of all are mail boxes placed at the end of a drive, so you don't have to deviate from the pavement.

We are not liking:

• stiff or ridiculously small letterboxes;
• landscaped gardens that you daren't take a shortcut across (although I let them off if they're sufficiently attractive and sweet-smelling);
• houses with names instead of numbers, especially those that apparently wish to remain anonymous;
• heavy five-bar gates with fixings that resemble guillotines;
• long drives, particularly gravel drives - very hard going when you're carrying a heavy bag and in a hurry;
• low-level letterboxes that have you on your knees - especially those with dogs lurking inside;
• owners who tell you their dogs' barks are worse than their bites, whilst they snarl and snap and back you into a corner, instead of restraining them.

Not all dogs are like this; one of my favourite houses to deliver to has a dog the size of a bear, with the temperament of a kitten - fortunately! Another favourite is one with a wolf-whistling gnome at the end of the drive; it makes me chuckle every time. I think I may have killed a dog the other day. It was a lurker, and began growling and barking under the letterbox once I'd posted the first letter. Then I pushed a heavy catalogue through the letterbox, and the noise ceased - D'oh!

It's nice to finish early and have the afternoon free, although I don't really have the energy to do anything constructive by then. I normally manage to shower, catch up on last night's Big Brother, check my email, cook some food for my mum and I (cooking relaxes me, so I insist on doing it), eat, and then I start yearning for my bed. I've never been a napper - once I get to sleep, I want to stay asleep.